My hip hurts.

I must have sprained my hip and it hurt to get up and sit down. Not a hurt like you want to die, but a hurt like you don't want to move. So I called my Dr. Richard P. Cohen, not Richard T. Cohen, the podiatrist.

"Dr. Cohen," I say, "should I come in? My hip hurts."
So he says, "if you come in, it won't hurt?"
"You know what I'll do if you come in," he asks? "I'll squeeze your hip and ask if it hurts. Squeeze and ask by yourself and save yourself a visit."

This was three days ago. I've stayed off it since then and already feel better. A good doctor, Richard P. Cohen is.